A Dog Must Know the Time

A Dog Must Know the Time

Humans often measure a dog's time in "dog years." But how does a dog, Gawker's oldest and youngest employee, measure the time? "It's just that I don't have a watch, you see. Nor do I have a clock, a cell phone, or a sundial," a dog admits. "I have the time in my mind. I got time on my mind. But I don't have the time."

A dog maintains a Kinja blog at dog.gawker.com.

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Pending approvalOriginal post by A dog

Is It Time?

Is It Time?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Over here. Over here. Over here. Right here. Hi.

Didn't mean to bother you. Hi. It's me. Hi there.

I've heard it said that time is money. That attitude seems petty to me. The world I live in is post-monetary. I think time was better summed up by the poet Virgil, who said that "All our sweetest hours fly fastest." If you've ever huddled defensively in a corner gobbling up an old lollipop you found on the sidewalk, you understand the essential truth captured in those words.

One thing to know about me—I don't wear a watch. Never have. They don't come in my size, they cost money, and, more to the point, I just never had a use for one. Sure, I've looked at a watch before. Round little watch that shines. I guess it's good for some people. It's not for me. I'm classy, not flashy. I also don't know how to read a watch.

Did you automatically assume that I don't care about time? Let me stop you there. Now that I've stopped you, I'll correct you: I do care. I care about time. I care a lot. Time is an important part of my day. For example, here's a little insight into what a player like me did today, on a typical day: First, I woke up very excited. Don't remember why. It seemed like there was lots going on at the time. Bugs were flying in the air. I walked around, and later it became the current time: right now. Now that we've taken this imaginary journey together, it is time for you to play a very special part in this unfolding drama I call "A Day in My Life."

Tell me, if it's not too much trouble: Is it time? Is it time now? Now? Is it time now? Now is it time? Now? Now? Now? Now?

Is it time now?

I don't want to pester, harass, molest, or inconvenience you. It's just that I don't have a watch, you see. Nor do I have a clock, a cell phone, or a sundial. I have the time in my mind. I got time on my mind. But I don't have the time. And you, my friend, look like you do. So I'm just wondering, if you get a sec, if you could let me know—by hand gesture, body language, verbalization, or some other recognizable means—if, right now, we have come to the time. That is to say: Is it time?

I. Got. To. PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

[Image by Jim Cooke]

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